Sometimes I wish that I could express to him the way he makes me feel. That it scares me to be in love. That it's frightening to care or it hurts me to share. Sometimes I wish I could tell him that I don't wanna fall in love with him that I can't stand to think about how this tragic love ends. Sometimes I'm afraid to show him how much I care. To show him how much I love him. Because I can't deal with him abusing something I give. My heart is so fragile I'm afraid to let him in. Even more afraid to let a piece of mind open to him. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so afraid to get hurt to take a chance and express what I want to say. To let me show him the love I know. But my mind says "hold on hold back and stay away. He will hurt you today if you show u love him more and more each day there's no way he will allow it and cherish it we've been through this before we know what's gonna happen.. he will love you use you and abuse it... let you fall in love and let you keep falling.. he won't be there to catch you don't be silly stay away hold on and push away" but my heart says I know his different he won't run away but my mind says who are you kidding girl your broken you were made this way he doesn't want your troublesome self! Get rid of him we are good by ourself! My heart says love him take a chance he can make us happy it'll be fun a nice little dance! But my mind says stay away! We don't wanna be hurt he will get bored of us don't trust your heart!.. most days my heart seems to win she knows what we want she knows what we need some days.. when it gets a bit dark my mind speaks louder than the beating of my heart it screams sometimes and pulls on my heart.. my mind is cleaver though my heart can make choices on it's own it's my mind that won't let me go.. plants a small thought that won't go away... I'm constantly thinking staying up all day.. repeating the same scenario over and over again I'm broken I'm defeated he won't like me than... I'm broken I'm defeated he won't love me.. I'm broken I'm defeated this will only end.. no point in trying. Same thing over and over again..my mind is so loud nothing else can be heard not even my crying heart burning for more.. more love that his shown to me just A short amount of time..so happy he has made me and so little time in love I have fallen and continue to fall... but my mind is constant battle with my heart... my heart says let him in my mind says push him far far away. My heart says his different.. my mind says yes for now but it'll always end the same.. you'll cry when it's over.. and we will never be the same! My heart says it'll be worth it let's not think about that look at the smile we thought we would never get it back! His good for us his good to us we love him! But my mind says... love is temporary and heartbreak is forever.. we've felt it before let's avoid that and stay away!..
I can't say for sure who is winning..
all I know is my mind never sleeps doesn't let me sleep
And my heart is always awake
My mind never stops telling me to walk Away
And my heart never allows me to walk Away...